Sky tram
Hot air balloon with ramp (and departure sensor)
Walkie talkies
Paint themselves safety orange
Helicopters
Tunnel under the road
Overpass
Roller skates
Tortoise kibbutz
Tortoise work from home
Haré toting tortoise wagon
Teach them to do front hand springs
Tortoise walk button / cross walk
Tortoise flags on them
Cross in teams with a connecting leash
All inclusive tortoise resort
Solar powered lights
GPS trackers with connected street lights
Teleporters
Trampolines
Moving Walkways
Titanium shells
Bags of thumbtacks they can scatter on the road 100 feet from where they intend to cross
A bus ticket to Reno
Sessions with a speed coach (work on developing those fast-twitch muscles)
Saddles for mounting bighorn sheep
Meditations on the inevitability of our deaths
A media strategy
Lyft accounts
Raise awareness with roomba tortoises
Wings
Cross in a tower for visibility
Picket lines and protest signs
Traffic cone hats
Crossing guards
GPS trackers with live feed to traffic cops that stop traffic when a tortoise is near the road
Air traffic control towers
Mental telepathy.
Beam me up, Scottie
Move the London Bridge
Time travel
Little red wagon
Motorcycle sidecar
Pole vault - “Torta-pult”
Slow moving vehicle signs
Flare launchers
Flying cannonball tortoises
Paint on the roadways ( like bike lanes)
Tiny signs that tell Tortoises when they’re getting to the road
Lower speed limits
Close roads during non-brumation season