︎



  www.resistancetortoise.com







  1. Sky tram
  2. Hot air balloon with ramp (and departure sensor)
  3. Walkie talkies
  4. Paint themselves safety orange
  5. Helicopters
  6. Tunnel under the road
  7. Overpass
  8. Roller skates
  9. Tortoise kibbutz
  10. Tortoise work from home
  11. Haré toting tortoise wagon
  12. Teach them to do front hand springs
  13. Tortoise walk button / cross walk
  14. Tortoise flags on them
  15. Cross in teams with a connecting leash
  16. All inclusive tortoise resort
  17. Solar powered lights
  18. GPS trackers with connected street lights
  19. Teleporters
  20. Trampolines
  21. Moving Walkways
  22. Titanium shells
  23. Bags of thumbtacks they can scatter on the road 100 feet from where they intend to cross
  24. A bus ticket to Reno
  25. Sessions with a speed coach (work on developing those fast-twitch muscles)
  26. Saddles for mounting bighorn sheep
  27. Meditations on the inevitability of our deaths
  28. A media strategy
  29. Lyft accounts
  30. Raise awareness with roomba tortoises
  31. Wings
  32. Cross in a tower for visibility
  33. Picket lines and protest signs
  34. Traffic cone hats
  35. Crossing guards
  36. GPS trackers with live feed to traffic cops that stop traffic when a tortoise is near the road
  37. Air traffic control towers
  38. Mental telepathy.
  39. Beam me up, Scottie
  40. Move the London Bridge
  41. Time travel
  42. Little red wagon
  43. Motorcycle sidecar
  44. Pole vault - “Torta-pult”
  45. Slow moving vehicle signs
  46. Flare launchers
  47. Flying cannonball tortoises
  48. Paint on the roadways ( like bike lanes)
  49. Tiny signs that tell Tortoises when they’re getting to the road
  50. Lower speed limits
  51. Close roads during non-brumation season
Running on Cargo